Dear Ayumi,
Few days from now we will be celebrating Christmas without you. I just wanted you to know that we talk so much about you. Just this morning, when daddy and I went to kuya’s event, we are thinking about you. We wish that you are also with us. We wish that you are with us cheering for your kuya’s first fashion show. I wish so much to hear your jolly voice and feel your hugs and kisses again. We wanted to let you know that everyday we think about you. There were never a day that we never remember you. You are always in our thoughts. We miss you so much baby.
Today, we went to the mall and we are thinking of buying toys for kuya Gareth and Clint but we ended up not getting anything. I saw all the toys that you wanted and I hope to get it for you and you are playing it. But no, I don’t have the guts to get it anymore because it will be useless. I don’t want to stock up those toys and just feel sad everytime I will see it and it’s not you who are playing it.
I also wanted to let you know that I am trying so hard to live a normal life again but maybe I can’t, this is my new normal. I want you to know that we are really trying to rebuild our lives. We are trying to move on and I know with your constant help and guide, we can make it. I know that you are our angel now, I can always feel your presence. Thank you very much. The love that we have for each other will be our deepest connection. You may gone so soon but I know that you will remain with me forever because I keep you in my heart as long as I live.
We are sad but don’t worry, we will get through this. Don’t worry about us, we can handle this. It may be hard and you may feel sad but we are okay. I don’t want you to feel sad for us. Just continue growing your wings and be the best angel as you can be. Live the life that God wants you to be. You can do it baby! Let us follow the will of God for us. I would like you to know that whatever may happen now, everything will be okay at the end. At the end of it all, we will be reunited again.
By the time we will be reunited, that will be the sweetest day of our lives. We will never let each other go ever again. There are times that I become weak again and I cry bucket of tears because I miss you so much. I long for you baby. I wanted to hug and kiss you again.
I may not understand the mystery of life and God’s reason, I believe that He has a good reason and it is our own good.
I wish to feel the happiness I feel when you are still with us. I miss my old self. I miss those days that we laugh together for a certain thing. I miss everything about you baby.
Christmas will never be the same again without you Ayumi.
Love,
Mommy