To My Christmas Angel

Our Christmas this year is way different without Ayumi. She’s our source of Joy and it hurts to know that we will be celebrating our first Christmas without her.  When I started decorating this year, I really think of her. I know that she will shout “wow” everytime we light our Christmas Tree and I put those cute decors.

I think moving to our new house is really a big help. I see things differently now and everytime I feel sad, the baby inside of me will start kicking. It made me realize that I should not dwell so much on the past but prepare for the new baby’s coming.

So much things are going on in our country lately and it made me feel sad. I feel sad that I don’t feel the same excitement as before when Christmas approaches. There is really a big difference. I am finding ways that will make me feel that same old feeling again but still I can’t. So to take the blues away, I started planning the birth of our new baby. I hope it will make me feel better.

I may don’t understand everything that is going on but I believe God has a reason why all this things are happening. The emptiness I feel will forever stay and I know only time can tell if I can overcome this. As a mother, it is really hard to believe that I lost one but I believe in God’s miracles. I know someday I will understand…

Despite of everything, I still wish everyone a Merry Christmas! Have a blessed one and please don’t forget to share your blessings. 🙂

 

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