Each Day is a Gift

I found it at FB and I would like to share it here. The time is so perfect because I needed a story like this so much.

 

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary.

After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. “I love it,” she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

“Mrs. Jones, you haven’t seen the room …. just wait.”

“That doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she replied. “Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged, it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away, just for this time in my life.”

She went on to explain, “Old age is like a bank account, you withdraw from what you’ve put in. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.”

And with a smile, she said: “Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.”

 

russell lodge_res

 

Source: http://www.wisdomquotesandstories.com/eyeopener/each-day-gift/

May 23, 2013

This past few days I feel that pain again.

I don’t know but I can’t control my feeling again. I just wanted to cry. I wanted this pain to go but I don’t know how.

Feeling so low!

I hate it!

I am so afraid of losing any of my love ones again. It really affect my day!

I feel the numbness and trembling of my body.

I don’t know how to cope it.

I don’t know how to get over it.

The thought of it made me feel sick and I can’t focus anymore.

Sometimes I just think of other things so that I can focus on my work.

I really need to control my thought..

This is depressing and I really wish that I can get through it all.

I hope someday I can leave this pain behind my back.

I hope someday I can face everyday with full of hopes and love.

I believe… someday I will be okay.

 

Sad

I feel sad. A friend lost her 2 year old daughter today. My heart is so broken after I heard the news. I can’t imagine the pain she will be going through.

I hope that God will shower her strength to accept things we can’t control and change.

 

 

The Scene

Today, the last horrible scene is keeps on coming back on my mind. The last minute of Ayumi in the hospital are keeps on playing on my mind. It hurts a lot. That horrible feeling is keeps on coming back today and I don’t really know how to deal with it but I keep it on my own. I don’t want to talk about it anymore because even talking about it is so hard. But I realized that I should post it here just to release it from my mind.

The last scene where the doctors were reviving her and seeing her lifeless body is the most depressing feeling I ever felt. If I remember it, I really can’t believe how I survived it. It was the most painful feeling and wishing to God that it was just a dream. The truth is I don’t want to remember that event anymore because it really made me feel so down but there are really moments that it just came into my head out of nowhere.

Trauma. Yes, I know it and just going back or just passing to a hospital makes me feel so afraid and I can feel my body is trembling. I hate the feeling and hoping that one day, the trauma will gone.

I don’t know if I need doctor for my trauma. What do you think?

Update…

Hello everyone!

 

I’m back!

 

For 2 days I don’t have access to my laptop so I never got a chance to post. We went to a business seminar during weekends and it was a great experience. I will be opening a new business soon and I am very excited for it.

We stayed at Heritage hotel for a night and Gareth is not with us and it really bothers me a lot. I really miss him a lot. I even asked hubby to let Gareth go with us but he is so tired already. It was a tiring seminar but so worth it.

(Our room)

This business is a great help for me to face different people because I hide myself since I lost Ayumi. I don’t have the courage meeting friends because I don’t know on what we will be talking about. As much as possible I don’t want to talk about the pain anymore specially with my friends because sometimes they even don’t know on how to react and I understand them.

But I am okay.. I miss her a lot but I accepted that I can’t have her anymore. There are harder days but I am glad that most of the time I have the strength to accepted the fact and have faith that God has a better plan.

I know God has a better plan and whatever His plan I am ready for it. Thy will be done.

I will be posting more next time but for now I have to rest early. I just feel so glad that we are finally home and while writing this post Gareth is now sleeping with me.

 

I just let go of the pain. Good night everyone!

Business Update

As of now, I am focusing on the business and since it’s the peak season of our online work, we don’t usually go out a lot. We need to focus and no travel time unless it’s very important.

My travel agency business is growing and I am glad that we got inquiries everyday and the nearby offices are already visiting our office. We have friends around the area already like the lawyers, the dentist, the restaurant owner and the boutique owners. We have regular clients already and I think that is a great achievement. I made so much effort on the marketing side and so grateful to see the results.

My target is the constant traveler and about corporate clients, I don’t really that much and they are not my target market so whatever we have now, I am happy for it and I can’t wait to offer more.

About the spa, well, I see the potentials of the spa but since it’s a franchise I just let the team do the marketing thing and I just watch it grow. Of course I supervise the number of clients and the work of the therapist but I can’t stay whole day because I have other things to do. The sales last month is better than our first month and I am happy. I know that with constant monitoring and guidance to the team I know that we will be able to reach our goal.

This weekends I will be able to drown myself to the new business opportunity and I really can’t wait to hear more about it. Yes, everytime I think of a new business, I really got excited and it seems that it is really bring me back to my old self. In business, I found my true essence and my freedom.

Let me share you something how and when I started loving having my own business:

When I was young, my grandmother is into business and it is a small business. She had a little Sari Sari Store in the province. She taught me how to compute and check the inventory. Everyday, she brings me to the grocery store and to the market to purchase the items and introduced me to her Suki.

We also went to night market to sell. We were able to sell all our items before morning. Then I realized that I love doing it and dream to have my business.

That dream become a reality and I am so happy that I pursue my dream.

 

 

The Calling

Did you ever try rejecting a thought but it keeps on coming back and find its way to your mind and heart? Sometimes we try to ignore it but still you can’t avoid it. It seems that it is your calling. You feel that you need to follow it or else it will not fulfill your purpose.

That is what I am feeling right now.

I am avoiding the thought of getting pregnant again because I know that I am still in the state of trauma. There are days that what I experienced on Jan. 3 is keeps on coming back in my mind and it even feel me nauseated. It’s like a movie trailer that keeps on playing on my mind and it hurts so much.

But lately it’s different. Everytime I close my eyes, I saw a baby. I take a look at the baby’s face but it’s not Ayumi. A different one. Everytime I saw this baby on my dreams, I feel so complete. It seems that I have a great night. I try my best to ignore that dream.

I checked what I really want in life. As a business woman, I know that I need to spend more time to my business but I realize that my favorite and dream position is not to become a business woman, a CEO but a Mother and a Wife.

One night, I had this dream again with the baby. I already know the gender and the name of the baby and in that dream I am so happy and contented.

I told hubby about that dream. I know in my heart that hubby wanted a new baby but he is waiting until I am ready. He is willing to wait because He know that I have fears.

The fear at first is really unbearable with the same level of pain. Aside from that I know that I have diabetes that may affect the health of the baby. So I always say NO.

Until one day, I listened to my heart. I wanted to know what my heart really wants. The answer is always YES. I asked my mind too and the answer is always YES. I told hubby about my decision and I saw the smile and excitement that I never saw for so long. I know that I made the right choice.

I can set aside the fears but just focus on the hope and love around me. I will let it happen and I hope this is really what is best for us.

If you are in the dark and you saw a glimpse of hope you will definitely go with it. I will do everything to make that dream a reality and I believe that God has a better plan. I believe and trust in Him alone.