My Life Through Pictures
We need to do some errands and we let Xavier come to us for bonding time.
We went to Megamall.
But before doing errands we had our dinner first at the Thai Restaurant.
Our orders:
Soup
Beef Curry
Spicy Crab
And my favorite dessert, Ripe Mango with Rice Cake
It was a great bonding time with Xavier. He talked about everything and we learn so much about him. He is also very funny, he is indeed a gift. 🙂
Last weekend I had an early breakfast meeting. Wow for the first time ever I accepted a breakfast meeting.
As you all know that I am not a morning person so this meeting is really important for me.
I slept earlier than usual then woke up early too. I’m glad that somehow I can sometimes do this kind of thing. I am glad that I can still adapt to new changes.
But believe me, before 4pm I was already very sleepy. I went to the office after the meeting but went home to take a rest. I feel that I was floating. I’m not really used to it.
It was a great day…
So thankful for all the blessings.
I got these surprises from hubby.
I am so thankful for all the efforts.
Actually, I really don’t like celebrating Mother’s Day.
When I lost my daughter, I stopped celebrating it. I don’t really feel the day anymore.
When you lost a child, you will see things in way different than before.
Everyday I have this feeling of emptiness, a feeling that no one can make you feel better no matter how the good situations are.
But then things changed..
Now that I have Xavier and he greets me.. I realized that maybe I should give it a try.
It is going to be so unfair for him if I will stay in that sad place.
He deserved to see the happy Mom part of me.
I don’t want to lose that glow because of the pain I had in the past.
I don’t want to create that image to my son’s mind that I am in deep pain and sorrow because I know it will affect him as a person.
I need to make extra effort to show my appreciation in everything that his doing to make me happy.
I want him to remember me that despite of my pain I still managed to be happy.
But when I am alone, I’m still longing for those little hands to hugs and those lips to kiss me. I just miss my Pillow so much.
I finally got a chance to have my “Me Time”.
It’s been months that I didn’t enjoy a moment like this.
I seldom go out alone.
Having my me time is very important for my well being.
I will make me think and relax.
It was a nice day.
but when I went home, I was stuck in the traffic for more 3 hours.
But…
I need to endure it.
I need to train myself for things like these.
I need to be uncomfortable and I need to overcome it.
I’m glad I did overcome it and I am so proud of myself. I went home around 11pm without any accidents. I went home whole and thankful.
The first time I visited Boracay was in 2012. The island that time had one ATM and we need to bring cash because some restos were not accepting credit cards.
I still remember at night that we went to join a party. I drink so much and then realized I had stomachache after. It was really bad that I can’t get up the next day. I was even looking for a nearby hospital. I knew back then that there was a problem with the water system in Boracay.
After that visit, I see to it to bring my own water and never ordered any fruit drinks or juices anymore.
One time I went to Starbucks and they were not serving cold drinks because they don’t have available ice. I appreciate their efforts of not serving their clients a water that was not safe.
I also don’t like the idea of bringing my kids to Boracay since I heard so much horror stories that after their vacations they spent in the hospital. I don’t want my kids to experience that and I don’t want to expose them to that unsafe environment.
When I first saw Boracay I really appreciate the beauty. It’s my favorite and it will always be.
Now that they are closing Boracay due to sewage system problem, I think it is just right. I think they’ve done this earlier but the previous administration was not considering it. I hope that the 6 months closure of Boracay will restore the beautiful Island. I will definitely be coming back with the kids in the future.
The picture above was taken on my first visit in the Island. I was overweight that time, around 180lbs.
I hope to visit soon, when the Island is ready.
I saw this one when my FB memories reminded me my list. I remember writing this list around April 2013, just months after I lost my daughter.
I just write my travel goals that time just to divert my mind from sadness. Kailangan kong mag isip ng paraan para kahit papano maging busy dahil feeling ko non malulunod ako sa sobrang lungkot.
Nong sinulat ko to, hindi ko akalain na makakarating ako ng New York. I was not planning of applying US visa that time. Wala din sa isip ko na pupunta ng U.S. I just randomly write the places I wanted to visit and not really in particular order.
It just amazed me now that what I listed is what I wanted to do. It just so happen that I got a chance to see this list again and realized that if you write your goals, eventually the universe will make it happen.
Maybe I should start updating my travel goals.
I wish to visit 50 countries before I will reach 50.
These past few days were so busy.
Most of the time I was in the office.
I can’t stay at home and can’t sleep with the kids.
I usually sleep during the day.
So when I got a chance to be with the kids, they were so happy and they don’t want me to go out.
This is how Xavier talk to me:
Xavier: Mommy, I don’t always see you in the house!
Me: ( I just roll my eyes and keep quiet)
Hubby laughed when he heard it. So eto talo na talaga ako.
Kaya on the next day, hindi ako umalis. Bonding lang kami ng bonding and even now while I am writing this post, hindi pa rin ako umaalis ng bahay.
I make sure na makabawi ako this time kasi next month is the start of our busy months, balik office na naman ako.
Last weekend…
I just stayed at home and just watch TV, read books and have quality time with the kids.
Friday:
I am just staying at home and realized that I was not working out for quite sometimes. I was always in a hurry this past few months. I had meetings most of the time and started some new projects so I seldom stay at home. But today is quite different. After reading books I hit the treadmill again.
I also checked my weight and it’s still 120lbs. which was my target weight since I gained 180lbs.
Some of my clothes don’t fit me quite well. It’s so big for me already and I think I need to shop new set of clothes to update my wardrobe.
It’s nice to be back on track.
I realized that I should take care of my body so that I can do my duties well.
I am now focused on my well being. I am eating right and managing my stress well. I don’t let anything affect me this time.
In the coming weeks, I will be very busy again. If only I can work for 24 hours but I know I should give myself more time to rest as well. But I am determined to keep everything working…
We went to the office around 7pm. We have new projects that needs our attention so much. I also wanted to stay in the office at least 3 to 4 times a week as long as it permits my schedule.
We stayed until 8:45 am since I need to wait for my 9am meeting. So we stayed more than 12 hours in the office and I was awake since 2pm. Yes my schedule is sometimes crazy, kaya minsan loka loka na rin ako. Kasalanan talaga to ng schedule ko eh.
So while at the office, I got a chance to read books. I have this little book with me from the Book Sale and I really want to finish it. It’s a good book. I will post about it ones I’m done.
Anyway, he is my look after my 12 hour shift in the office.
I need to wear my sunglasses since it was so hot already and I got a very sensitive eyes.
I also do some retouch but still I look so tired already.
We went home around 12 noon and I am ready to forget everything and just rest.
But I got some calls that I need to attend to. It took another hour…
Then finally.. the room was so dark and cold.. then I off to dreamland.
I woke up after 7 hours and feeling so refresh!
I am so thankful for the good sleep.
I had my dinner. I was so hungry. In between sleep and hungry, I always choose sleep. But when I woke up, I was already so hungry that I can even eat the whole house. LOL
I decided to read this book. This book was in the shelf for quite sometime and I keep on thinking about it lately. So I realized that I should finish it.
Then I found out that it is really a great book. I learn a lot from it. It even bring some tears in my eyes. Chos! Arte!
But really, natouch ako sa book na yan.
Kaya pala ang daming nagsasabi na maganda. I don’t know but somehow during high school nabasa ko na to. Nakalimutan ko lang. Ganon ako eh, sa dami ng nababasa ko nakakalimutan ko na kung ano ano yong nababasa ko.
Kaya nasabi ko na nabasa ko na sya dahil dito…
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly ; what is essential is invisible to the eye.Â
You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.
So ayan, yang line na yan may tama yan sa akin. haist!
… moving on..
After reading the book, while Xavier has his nap time, I went upstairs to work. Yes, I work all the time. Then Gareth followed me and requested to have a bath.
So everytime I don’t go to the office, he always find time to spend a moment with me. He stayed in the room and he just wanted to listen the songs I’m playing. He just stayed in his bed and just listen. But most of the time he will stay in the bath tub.
I hope someday I can build a swimming pool so Gareth will have his daily swimming because that is what he loves to do. Kahit may lagnat at ubo pa yan gusto pa rin magbabad sa tub pero pinipigilan ko lang. Yan ang pinag aawayan talaga namin. Pero most of the time pumapayag ako. Whatever makes him happy then I will let him go with it as long as he is safe. Most of the time nakabantay ako sa kanya kaya hindi nya pwedeng gawin kung hindi ako ang kasama.
Then I let them sleep while I am working.
I will be sleeping earlier today, kailangan bumawi but also I have an early meeting.
That’s it.