I am a person who plan a lot. I made my yearly plans. I love taking notes of everything I wanted to do. I love planning. In an instant, I am different now.<\/p>\n
I don’t plan anymore. I just do things that I think right in a moment. Since I lost Ayumi, I stop planning. I don’t want to plan my day. I just let things happen. It seems that I am a walking zombie. Of course I tried my best not to do silly things that can affect other people.<\/p>\n
I realized that I will stop planning because we really don’t know what will happen next. Because of what happened, I realized that I should live one day at a time. Before when I read that phrase, I don’t really get it. I don’t get it how people live one day at a time but now I truly understand them.<\/p>\n
Some friends are asking always, “How’s your day?”<\/p>\n
Well, I am in so much pain but I am trying to live each day with that pain in me. I don’t want to show to people that I am still hurting but I know I can’t hide it.<\/p>\n
I am now back on track, well I hope so. I am now working again. I am now in the office almost everyday, but most of the time I am wondering about her. Everytime I checked FB and saw cute babies and cute clothes for her age, I feel like buying it and then it hit me that she can’t wear it anymore. That is the hardest part.<\/p>\n
Everytime I go out, and saw kids in her age, I feel sad but I love to see them playing and full of life and I wish that Ayumi is happy wherever she is right now.<\/p>\n
Everyday, is a battle to survive this pain. I hope that Ayumi will guide me in this battle that I will never ever win.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I miss you Ayumi!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Love,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Mommy<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am a person who plan a lot. I made my yearly plans. I love taking notes of everything I wanted to do. I love planning. In an instant, I am different now. I don’t plan anymore. I just do things that I think right in a moment. Since I lost Ayumi, I stop planning.… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,253],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1123","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ayumi","category-grieving-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1123"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1124,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1123\/revisions\/1124"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1123"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1123"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1123"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}