I had traumas since Ayumi was gone. I always wanted to write about it so that I can release it here. This is the only way I can express my feelings about her death.<\/p>\n
1. Everytime I heard Ambulance sounds, I panicked and remember the feeling when we were inside the ambulance with Ayumi. I hate the sounds of ambulance now because it simply bring back the nightmare.<\/p>\n
2. I don’t want to see sick kids or baby. At facebook when friends posted that their kids are sick, I panicked and check my eldest son.<\/p>\n
3. I don’t want to see any funeral parlor. I drive every morning and passes a funeral parlor and i hated it. I always look away.<\/p>\n
My husband is so aware of my fears and traumas and he helps me get through this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I had traumas since Ayumi was gone. I always wanted to write about it so that I can release it here. This is the only way I can express my feelings about her death. 1. Everytime I heard Ambulance sounds, I panicked and remember the feeling when we were inside the ambulance with Ayumi. I… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,253],"tags":[260,261],"class_list":["post-1189","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ayumi","category-grieving-mom","tag-grieving-mom-2","tag-losing-a-toddler"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1189"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1192,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1189\/revisions\/1192"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1189"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1189"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1189"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}