{"id":1392,"date":"2013-05-14T16:38:22","date_gmt":"2013-05-14T16:38:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1392"},"modified":"2013-05-14T16:47:07","modified_gmt":"2013-05-14T16:47:07","slug":"late-post-mothers-day-celebration","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1392","title":{"rendered":"Late Post: Mother’s Day Celebration"},"content":{"rendered":"

Surprisingly, I got a number of greetings on Mother’s Day. I was surprised and touched. \u00a0On that day, I wanted to hide myself in our room and just forget about it.<\/p>\n

So I stayed in bed and talked to Gareth:<\/p>\n

Me: Greet your mom.<\/p>\n

Gareth: I love you.<\/p>\n

I have nothing else to say. So blessed…<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

We decided to visit Ayumi’s place and offer her 3 red roses and light a candle. I don’t know if she appreciates if I keep visiting her or she is wondering why I am visiting that place. I know someday she will talk about it. Sometimes, I don’t feel like visiting her place because I know she’s not there but sometimes it gives me peace to visit here. That is the only place where I can find peace specially during the BLAH moments.<\/p>\n

After visiting her, we attended mass with my little sis, Gareth and hubby. It’s been a while that I never attended mass, maybe because I don’t feel good of doing it because of the pain I am carrying or because I still have those unanswered questions. What really happened is a test of faith as what my Mother Superior told me and I think she is right. It really tested my faith and because of that I don’t know anymore if I am still the person I used to be. \u00a0The experienced never harden me but molded me to be a better person. I know that some mother who have the same experienced like me loses their faith, some even tried ending their life. Well, I think about it too, specially those times that I don’t know anymore on how to deal with the pain. During those times that all I can see is dark and painful events and it seems that I don’t have purpose to live.<\/p>\n

Today, I am not really that okay, but I am trying so hard. I don’t cry as often as before but I still cry in silence. I know that this pain will never stop so I have to deal with it in silence. When the lights are out and no one is looking at me then that is the moment I feel so empty and all I can do is face my Gareth and hug him and that only reminded me to carry on.<\/p>\n

I don’t want flowers and cake this year so we decided to stay at Starbucks for a while and have some talked to my “Eldest”.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

She is my youngest sister but everyone thought that she is my daughter because she is with us since she is 5 years old. When my father died she stays with us. She also calls me Mommy. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

That’s how I celebrate my Mother’s Day and I would like to extend my heartfelt thanks to all my friends who greeted me this special day. You know that I don’t feel like doing it but you still tried. Thank you very much.<\/p>\n

I know that no matter what I happened, I am always a mom to Ayumi.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

I am forever grateful that God chooses me to be their mom.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Surprisingly, I got a number of greetings on Mother’s Day. I was surprised and touched. \u00a0On that day, I wanted to hide myself in our room and just forget about it. So I stayed in bed and talked to Gareth: Me: Greet your mom. Gareth: I love you. I have nothing else to say. So… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,253,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ayumi","category-grieving-mom","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1392"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1394,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1392\/revisions\/1394"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}