{"id":1673,"date":"2013-09-23T20:55:11","date_gmt":"2013-09-23T12:55:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1673"},"modified":"2013-09-23T20:56:27","modified_gmt":"2013-09-23T12:56:27","slug":"1673","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1673","title":{"rendered":"Then and Now"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Mother<\/p>\n

It’s raining for around 3 days already and her I am so tired to go out but I have to just to check our business. I am also thinking of starting the construction of our cafe shop next week so that will definitely make me busier.<\/p>\n

I am taking things easy right now, I am on my 2nd trimester and I can’t wait to feel the real movement of the baby and of course finding out the gender.<\/p>\n

I am happier now but never comes a day that I never think of Ayumi. I still miss her everyday and wondering how my life will be if she is still here with us. Probably, we never move to a new house and maybe I am not this strong. Maybe, I am still the same full of anxiety and fears. I don’t know but July last year I feel something strange. I feel that there is something bad is going to happen and that is when I feel fear and develop depression that even my husband don’t understand me. Last December, when we attended Mass, I feel different again, I don’t feel good but still I managed to celebrate our Christmas with ease.<\/p>\n

Then, I had this dream, I talk to a man, I am begging him not to take my child, I even cried helplessly but he keeps on telling me that it need to happen to make me whole. We had a debate and I begged but he never listened. Until, I woke up crying. I know by that time that I will lose a child. Everyday, I pray for it. I hope that it will not happen. I asked all the angels and saints to protect my children.<\/p>\n

But, it still happened. I realized now that no matter how hard we pray or asked them for an extension but if it will be the time, we can’t do nothing but accept it. It’s hard to accept and even now, my mind can’t still process everything that had happened but I stop questioning anymore, instead I accept it with all my heart.<\/p>\n

The more I questioned the more I get hurt. I realized that the man I had a talked was my angel. I know that he is helping me to cope and understand why such painful things happened. I know that I until now he is guiding me and I am very thankful for him.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, we just need to let go and let God to the rest.<\/p>\n

\"Remember<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s raining for around 3 days already and her I am so tired to go out but I have to just to check our business. I am also thinking of starting the construction of our cafe shop next week so that will definitely make me busier. I am taking things easy right now, I am… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1673","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ayumi","category-personal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1673","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1673"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1673\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1675,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1673\/revisions\/1675"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1673"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1673"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1673"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}