{"id":1903,"date":"2014-01-13T02:33:44","date_gmt":"2014-01-12T18:33:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1903"},"modified":"2014-01-13T02:41:36","modified_gmt":"2014-01-12T18:41:36","slug":"the-hardest-question","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=1903","title":{"rendered":"The Hardest Question"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Since my daughter died, I never thought that answering a certain question can be so hard. When I go out and meet strangers and all of a sudden they asked me &#8220;How many children do you have?&#8221; I really don&#8217;t know how to answer it not because I don&#8217;t know the answer but I don&#8217;t know how to express myself.<\/p>\n<p>But I am getting used to it and sometimes I have this quick reply. Before I got pregnant and someone pop the question I just say 2, specially if Gareth is not with us. If Gareth is with us I just say 1 and hoping that no follow up questions.<\/p>\n<p>Now that I am pregnant, some asked, &#8220;pang ilan na yan? (pointing to my big tummy)&#8221; and I just say 2.<\/p>\n<p>I never thought that it will be this hard. I just don&#8217;t feel good if I have to talk about the loss to a stranger. I also don&#8217;t want to change the mood of the other person because when I start talking about it, most of the time they got affected and I feel bad too and sometimes it will not stop me from crying. I don&#8217;t want to cry infront of the stranger.<\/p>\n<p>Of course I love to talk about Ayumi in a right time and place and maybe to a right person. So if you are reader of my blog and it happens that you see me, don&#8217;t ask the hardest questions but just let me know that you are reader of my blog and through that, I know that you know that soft spot of me.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" alt=\"Silly, stupid, yes, it is still hard and I can't explain it.\" src=\"http:\/\/media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com\/736x\/8e\/b5\/5b\/8eb55b1a0b6edcf47e6171a1bfb7f4e4.jpg\" width=\"488\" height=\"485\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Since my daughter died, I never thought that answering a certain question can be so hard. When I go out and meet strangers and all of a sudden they asked me &#8220;How many children do you have?&#8221; I really don&#8217;t know how to answer it not because I don&#8217;t know the answer but I don&#8217;t&hellip; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,253],"tags":[260],"class_list":["post-1903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-ayumi","category-grieving-mom","tag-grieving-mom-2"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1903"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1903\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1907,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1903\/revisions\/1907"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}