{"id":2922,"date":"2015-02-01T17:14:29","date_gmt":"2015-02-01T09:14:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=2922"},"modified":"2015-02-01T17:18:45","modified_gmt":"2015-02-01T09:18:45","slug":"still","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/?p=2922","title":{"rendered":"Still…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yes, it still hurts so much.<\/p>\n

Last night, I decided to start creating the Photo Book of Ayumi. So, I need to view her pictures. There are so much pictures. I was compiling it and before I knew it, I created 4 folders already with her pictures alone. From her baby pictures until the day she was gone. When I viewed her funeral pictures, my heart was again broken into pieces. I wanted to close it but I want to continue checking each pictures. Then tears just flow…<\/p>\n

I ones again, I feel the pain… pain that really never goes away. It is always there and I know it will be forever there.\"IMG_0680\"<\/a> \"IMG_0092\"<\/a> \"IMG_0005\"<\/a><\/p>\n

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The pain is still unbearable. I still don’t know how I made it. I still don’t know how I carried it with me everyday. The pain really changes me. I see life differently now. Sometimes I am a goal getter and sometimes I just get tired and just let life do its purpose to me without doing anything. Sometimes I am just so tired of dealing this fucking life and I just let things happen without even thinking. Sometimes I am so motivated to do things on my own and sometimes I just don’t give a fuck anymore what will happen to my life. Yes… \u00a0if you went into such pain sometimes you just don’t care anymore. That is me sometimes.<\/p>\n

But…<\/p>\n

I know there are days that I should wake up.. get up and act like I am on my best…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yes, it still hurts so much. Last night, I decided to start creating the Photo Book of Ayumi. So, I need to view her pictures. There are so much pictures. I was compiling it and before I knew it, I created 4 folders already with her pictures alone. From her baby pictures until the day… <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2925,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[196,253],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2922","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ayumi","category-grieving-mom"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2922","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2922"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2922\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2928,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2922\/revisions\/2928"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2925"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2922"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2922"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bubblymom.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2922"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}