I had traumas since Ayumi was gone. I always wanted to write about it so that I can release it here. This is the only way I can express my feelings about her death.
1. Everytime I heard Ambulance sounds, I panicked and remember the feeling when we were inside the ambulance with Ayumi. I hate the sounds of ambulance now because it simply bring back the nightmare.
2. I don’t want to see sick kids or baby. At facebook when friends posted that their kids are sick, I panicked and check my eldest son.
3. I don’t want to see any funeral parlor. I drive every morning and passes a funeral parlor and i hated it. I always look away.
My husband is so aware of my fears and traumas and he helps me get through this.