It’s a busy week. Yesterday, I stayed at the spa whole day to monitor the sales and have some bonding moment with the staffs. I am so glad of getting to know them better. Today, I am working here at the Travel Agency office because I have so many paper works to do.
There are time that I should stop thinking of Ayumi because I have to face this new normal. Everyday I woke up, I still miss her and wishes so much that she is still with us. Little by little, I accepted that I can never have her again in this lifetime. Sometimes, I just wish that God will take me so that I can be with my daughter. I remember when Ayumi was still here, I always pray to God to bless me long life because I am so afraid of leaving my family but now that she is gone, I wish to God to take me so that we can be reunited with her again. I am not afraid of death anymore because my daughter shows me that it is the best gift from God. My perception and outlook about life and death now change forever. My daughter taught me that lesson. I am so thankful to her.
There are nights that I dream of a newborn baby and the truth is, I always wanted to have a new baby but I think it’s not yet the right time because I need to heal myself first. I have fears that things might happen again. I am so afraid of that pain. I’ll wait in the right time that I am much ready to have a child again.
I hope that time will come and I am as ready as before and hoping that my fears will not be a hindrance.
Anyway, I created a collage today for Ayumi. 🙂
