Moving on…
The truth is, I don’t know if I am moving on but I am just living my life in a moment. I don’t want to think to much about the past. I am now focused on my goal but there are moment that I need to stop because I don’t feel like moving.
During that moment, I just let myself feel the pain again. I let myself grieve and express my feelings. Hubby is always willing to listen and we talk about it most of the time. Yesterday, while waiting for our staff, we went inside the Mall and saw cute little dress and shoes. We usually go there to shop with her but there are times that I forgot that she is not with us anymore. I get the dresses and shoes while hubby keeps on stopping me. I even told hubby to get it because I want it for Ayumi but he stopped me. Sometimes, I think that she might come back so at least I have something for her. I don’t know but sometimes I think that way.
When I hear her favorite song, I know that she is just around, trying to let me feel her presence.
I still checked her videos and I still laugh and wishes that she is still with us.
Actually, I already stop browsing her pictures. I don’t know why.
I checked her clothes and hug her favorite toys and it made me feel good.
Sometimes I wonder if she is still with us, what would be my life now. I miss all her stories.
It’s okay.. because I know someday we will be together again.