The house is almost done and we will be going to move to our new house and I am quite sad maybe because all the memories of Ayumi is in our current house. This is where all the wonderful memories of her stays. If I think of leaving the place, I feel sad because I will surely miss the place and special part of me will stay in that place forever.
We need to transfer to a new place because we are planning of building apartments to our current place. This is sort of investment for us and I really can’t let go of the place. So I am not really letting it go but creating something new for that wonderful place.
I also need to let go of the painful memories to welcome a new chapter of my life. Though it’s hard but I have to because living in that painful moment will never help me face life. I believe that everything will fall into right place and all I have to do is to start letting go of the pain.
Since we are now packing our things, I also got a chance to see her clothes and toys again. I feel sad but upon checking all the toys and clothes, I can still pinpoint the wonderful memories of each of them. I know when and where did she first wear the dresses and why I bought those toys. I still have those wonderful memories.
It’s painful because all I have right now is just a memories. I know that I cannot have her again and create wonderful memories again. I wish that she stays longer so that we create more happy memories.
I wish that I can still have her kisses and hugs but I know God has a reason and no matter how difficult it is for us that she is gone forever, I have to endure the pain and I will continue to live my life to the fullest. I may not understand why all this things happen but I know one day I will found out why. I can’t wait for that AHA moment.