Today is Ayumi’s 6th month in Heaven. I don’t know how I made it but through the people who loves and prayed for us we were able to live each day one at a time.
I miss her everyday and I wishes that she is still with us. There are days that is so hard but of course there are still better days. I am so thankful that despite what happened we are still hopeful for a brighter days. There are so many things had change and I know that I can never be the same ever again. This is my new normal and I know that I should be dealing this forever.
The future are still blurry and I don’t want to think so much about it anymore. I just live my best everyday. I just do things that I know is right for that particular moment.
I know that I am forever carrying this pain but of course I can still live and smile while I am in this pain. Love is long suffering indeed and I will offer my pain to God, to Mama Mary and to St. Pio, I know they will help me get through this.
I know that everytime I know someone who are sick, specially if Gareth is sick I really can’t focus and my panic attack is in a maximum level. Just like last night, when he started vomiting and has high fever. We went to hospital and I really don’t know what to do anymore. I am glad that we went home and Gareth is feeling good today. His fever is not as high as yesterday and that is due to tonsilitis.
Thanks everyone for the prayers.
I know that Ayumi is helping us get through the pain.