Our rainbow baby now turns 17 weeks. I am so happy to announce that I can feel kicks most of the time. It is really true that if you are carrying on the 3rd time, you can feel the movement sooner. I love it and it made me realize that this is really real, hahaha. There are times that I can’t still believe that I am carrying a new baby.
No words can describe how happy we are when we found out that I am pregnant again. After the pain we’ve been through but I believe that this is so worth it. It seems that me and baby has a connections and I often see the baby in my dreams. Even before I got pregnant, I saw the baby in my dreams and keeps on insisting that he or she is just waiting to be with us. At first I was hesitant but later on I give in because I believe that this is my calling. To be the baby’s mom, to show my unconditional love and just to be with us until we grow old.
If you’ve been through what we’ve been through, there are moments that we lose our faith and just surrounded by fear but I am trying so hard to fight for it and by constantly praying and asking guidance from God and Mama Mary, I am stronger now and I know that there things happen for a reason. If Ayumi was not gone, maybe we are not planning to have this new baby, but deep inside my heart I am longing to have a new baby and I believe that there is someone waiting to be with us. This is really my Calling.
Showing my baby bump. Taken at Subic.
The future is still blur but I don’t care about it anymore. I don’t want to think of the future but all I wanted to do is to focus on the present. I will do everything to keep the baby healthy and safe. I let God and Mama Mary control everything. I believe that I am in good hands.