This is the second time I celebrate Halloween without Ayumi and because of that I don’t have any plans anymore of letting Gareth and Xavier join any Treat or Trick. I don’t know but I am not as excited as before. I don’t feel good about it anymore. I don’t see any sense of it just like before. Maybe someday, this will change, if Xavier will requests to join a Treat or Trick. Just… maybe…
Hubby and I visit “Ayumi’s place” around 3pm. It was raining earlier but the weather turns out good when we reached her place. We offer flowers and candle and say a prayer. I really wish it was not this way. I should not be the one visiting my daughter during this time. She should be the one who will put me in that grave but it’s the other way around. That is the reason why I am so down during this moment.
I never stop thinking of her. I never stop dreaming to have her again. I want her back. I really do…
Ayumi…. I will carry you with me till’ I see you again.
I miss you so much…
