Holy week, this is the best time to reflect. This is the time to renew faith and a time to evaluate our soul if we are really living the way God’s plan us to be.
Of course, there are moments that we don’t know what are our purpose here. Sometimes, we asked God for our purpose here on Earth. That things bother me sometimes and I hope that in my little way, I am living on my purpose. There are times that, I am not sure anymore if I am doing the life I wanted to be then I realized that no matter what I am doing, I know that my angels and God is with me and He will not allow me to do things that is not according to His plan.
I think it is just normal for us to feel lost sometimes and if ever I feel that way, I always find time to pray and reflect. In that way, it helps me to go on with my life because I believe that God has a better plan for me and I am excited for it.
As a mom who lost a child, there are moments that I wanted to end my life. Actually, a lot of times I think of ending my life. I don’t think I can go on with my life without my daughter. I know it’s normal to feel this way. I am so grateful to my husband who stays with me always and stays strong despite what happened. I am not perfect, everyday is a struggle for me and it may look normal in the outside but deep inside I am broken. I wish to feel that happiness and completeness again but I don’t think it will happen again. The two years I have with my daughter seems so perfect. The moment I have both my kids with me and just seeing them both happy is the happiest moment of my life. I know there are so much things to expect that may make me happy again but for now I don’t see it anymore.
Empty shell – that is me, I miss hugging my little one and I envy to all the angels in heaven because they have her. Everyday I woke up, amazingly I feel good and I don’t know why. I can’t remember dreaming of her or being with her but I feel good. This is a miracle. I know this is the work of my little Angel. There are things that is hard to understand but I know that good things are sometimes hard to understand.
With this pain I feel right now, I know there is a purpose of it that may be hard for me to understand right now but in a right time I will find out why.
When good things happen to my life, I don’t question God. Now that bad things happen to my life, do you think I have the right to question God?