It’s a busy Monday. I went to my Spa earlier because I need to talk to the supplier then headed here at my travel agency office. It was fun being busy because that is the only way I got a chance to stay away from pain.
When I came here at the office, I am busy answering all the inquiries and all of a sudden I browse my log book where I wrote some Pillow’s development when she was still a baby. I wrote when she started crawling and sitting. I also write the first time she ate solid foods. Whew! Everything turns back again! I suddenly feel sad and I think I have to post it here just to release the sadness.
I can’t be sad the whole day because later I have meetings and I don’t want to show it to people. As a leader, I should hide my feelings so that I can manage my people well. This is maybe one of the hardest thing to do.
I just miss her so much. Sometimes, I thought that she is a wonderful dreams but everytime I look around, I can see traces that she was really here, then I feel robbed. She was taken away from me and I can’t do anything about it. Acceptance is hard, there are times that my mind can’t process the pain and that is the time that my heart will help my mind understand things.
While writing this post, the radio played Pillow’s favorite song “Call Me Maybe”. I know that she is really trying to remind me that she is still around.
I am just glad that I have this blog that I can easily express my feelings.