Today, the last horrible scene is keeps on coming back on my mind. The last minute of Ayumi in the hospital are keeps on playing on my mind. It hurts a lot. That horrible feeling is keeps on coming back today and I don’t really know how to deal with it but I keep it on my own. I don’t want to talk about it anymore because even talking about it is so hard. But I realized that I should post it here just to release it from my mind.
The last scene where the doctors were reviving her and seeing her lifeless body is the most depressing feeling I ever felt. If I remember it, I really can’t believe how I survived it. It was the most painful feeling and wishing to God that it was just a dream. The truth is I don’t want to remember that event anymore because it really made me feel so down but there are really moments that it just came into my head out of nowhere.
Trauma. Yes, I know it and just going back or just passing to a hospital makes me feel so afraid and I can feel my body is trembling. I hate the feeling and hoping that one day, the trauma will gone.
I don’t know if I need doctor for my trauma. What do you think?