5th Year

It’s been 5 years..  since I last hugged my Ayumi.

I miss her everyday!

I still don’t know how I made it this far. Maybe by God’s grace I was able to survive. Maybe I am trying to move on because I know there is nothing left to do.


My life after her is still way different than usual. It would be better if she is still around.

Sometimes I am just acting normal because it is the right thing to do but still there is part of me that is missing.

No one can fill it up.

I will forever long for her…

Maybe having Xavier is a big help for my survival. But he’s not a replacement. Iba iba sila. Iba ang pagmamahal ko kay Ayumi at iba din kay Xavier.

Iba iba din ang nafill nila sa puso. I know some grieving mom can understand me.


I just hope that she is still with us. I really miss her so much! If only I can have her back. 🙁


Everything seems so fresh. It’s been 5 years but still feel like yesterday. I still remember the pain.

So many things happened.. there were good and bad things since she was gone.

It really tested me as a person, specially as a mom.

There were times that I thought our family will never be whole again. I wanted to give it up… I’m just glad that God really guide me in everything.

It’s not an easy road. I have to deal with the pain every now and then.

I just hope that I will never lose my faith along the way…

Dear Ayumi… 

Wherever you are right now.. I hope you will continue to guide and watch us always. 

We miss you so much!