“No one loses a child the way a mother loses one. We are the ones who first felt life, carried it and protected them, nourished them, sacrificed our bodies for them, held them first in our hearts, then first into our arms. We were not only connected through flesh, but on levels so deep, you […]

Tired…

I am so tired of being sad. Lately, I am browsing a lot of my daughter’s pictures and I feel sad. I am not crying anymore but deep inside of me I am very sad. I am longing for her. I wish to have her back. But being sad is so tiring. I am tired […]

Not applicable

  I think this quote is not applicable for me. I will definitely cry over and over again because I lost a daughter.  I know that forever I will be longing to have her back in our lives but for now I will cry my heart out whenever needed. It made me feel good after […]

The Kisses

    Today is one of those loneliest day of my life. Everyday I miss you, but today is different. I cried so hard because I wanted so hard to have you back again. I miss all your kisses and hugs. I wish to God that you are happy right now. I know you misses […]

9th Month in Heaven

Today is Ayumi’s 9th month in Heaven. Long 9 months without her in our life is very hard. There are lot of changes. We live differently now. We are not as easy as before. We see life in a different view now. I don’t know but I think we will never be the same ever […]

  Last night, I miss my Ayumi so much. Actually, I miss her everyday. I wanted to hug her again. I miss her little hands around my neck. I miss her kisses. But suddenly, I stop. I should not be dwelling much on the past. I should not be dwelling much on the pain. Sometimes, […]

Then and Now

It’s raining for around 3 days already and her I am so tired to go out but I have to just to check our business. I am also thinking of starting the construction of our cafe shop next week so that will definitely make me busier. I am taking things easy right now, I am […]

8 Months Without Ayumi

I can’t believe it that I am counting the months without my daughter instead of posting her development. It’s always heartbreaking to know that I can’t have her anymore. I miss her everyday and the love I have for her continues to grow. Last night, we went to Eastwood and saw that they have this […]

If Only I Knew

If only I knew that I would lose a child, do you think I will still carry her in my tummy for 9 months? If only I knew that the day will come that I will bury her, do you think I will still carry her around? If only I knew that I will not […]

Picture Frames

I need to print pictures for the new picture frames I brought, so I checked our old albums and while browsing I really can’t help but feel sad just seeing the pictures of my daughter.  I turn different pages of our album and some of it made me smile as well. In moment like this, […]