If only I knew that I would lose a child, do you think I will still carry her in my tummy for 9 months? If only I knew that the day will come that I will bury her, do you think I will still carry her around? If only I knew that I will not […]
Finally, I got a chance to go out after 3 days of staying at home. I miss walking so much, so I asked hubby to bring me to the mall. So I got a chance to bought our spa supplies. After going to the mall, we had coffee then went to the spa to check […]
I need to print pictures for the new picture frames I brought, so I checked our old albums and while browsing I really can’t help but feel sad just seeing the pictures of my daughter. I turn different pages of our album and some of it made me smile as well. In moment like this, […]
If only you are here with us today, we will be having a grand celebration, just like what we used to do. Maybe for the past 3 months I am busy preparing for your birthday. Maybe I already order your birthday gown months before your birthday. But not… I never did all those things because […]
When I talk to the Mother Superior of the Sisters of Mary, she told me that what happened was a test of Faith. She talked to me about it when I was so down and whatever she is telling me that time is hard to process. Now that it will turn 7 months without my […]
Due to what I experienced, due to that trauma that keeps on playing on my mind, Fear is my constant company. I hate the feeling but believe me there are days that I can beat Fears. There are days that I just set it aside because I am so tired of dealing with it anymore! […]
I miss my little Ayumi so much. The last scene keeps on playing on my mind right now. It’s quite different because I don’t panic anymore everytime I remember that painful moment. I am just wondering the exact time she last breath. I don’t know but it just made me sad. I wanted to […]
The house is almost done and we will be going to move to our new house and I am quite sad maybe because all the memories of Ayumi is in our current house. This is where all the wonderful memories of her stays. If I think of leaving the place, I feel sad because I […]
It’s a busy month and that is the reason why I can’t post here regularly. First of all, its my birthday month but I don’t have birthday party plan. I think, this year is not a right time to party and I don’t feel like doing it. Last year, I celebrated it with a simple […]
Today is Ayumi’s 6th month in Heaven. I don’t know how I made it but through the people who loves and prayed for us we were able to live each day one at a time. I miss her everyday and I wishes that she is still with us. There are days that is so […]