Busy Bee
Busy as a bee again. I am trying to complete the baby essentials and I spent my whole day yesterday at the mall. I am glad that I almost got everything. I am lucky that yesterday, I am good in walking around. I also see to it to have enough rest in between shopping.
I can’t believe it that I am preparing all this things because same moment last year, I was so down. I can’t even take a look to babies. I can’t even dry my eyes due to sadness. Our God is really a God of surprises.
I am busy again with work. I received different inquiries almost every hour about our Tour Packages. I am also updating our rates. I also need to add new stocks for my Clothes business at Dampa sa Libis. I am contacting our supplier ones again. We need to do the inventory and restock. I am also constantly monitoring the Spa. I am happy that it is now doing well. We already have regular clients. I also need to restock spa essentials. Not to mention that I need to check the therapists skills. I need to see to it that we are offering best services to our clients.
Most of all, it is the time of the year to renew business permits. We need to complete it asap. Of course, we need to file our ITR earlier this time. I hate doing it in rush.
Despite this crazy things around me, my priority is to take a rest, I badly needed it because I am now on my 29th week. I don’t want to experience early labor so I am taking things easy. I just let my assistants do their job. I am glad that I have those amazing people around me.
Check out my baby bump đ
First Year Angel Anniversary
At first, I really don’t know how to celebrate this event but I later realized that it is worth celebrating. It is always my pleasure to have a child like Ayumi. I am proud that I am her mom. I am lucky to know her even for just a short time. I am happy that with her I know the feeling of having a daughter. I know how to laugh my heart out because she’s  funny little girl. I am so proud to be her mom. I am sure that Heaven gains a beautiful angel through her and I know that she will bring so much happiness in Heaven. It is indeed a beautiful place to stay because my daughter is there. đ
We visited her place yesterday and stayed longer. We bring her favorite food and we just talked about her. I miss her so much but I am trying to let her go. I am trying to move forward. It is a year full of pain, emptiness and longing. It was difficult and we have so many first without her.
I believe that she is happy wherever she is now and I continue to believe that she will always guide and protect us always. She is truly our angel.
I also believe that it is about time to move on. I need to let go. I should not dwell much on the pain anymore. I should start picking up the pieces and continue to live a life that God designs for me.
I know that every now and then I will feel the pain and emptiness but I just have to deal with it one day at a time.
New Year 2014
Happy New Year to all my Readers!
How’s your New Year?
Did you have any plans yet or any New Year Resolution?
I celebrated New Year with my family. I am delightful that I woke up that day with full of good vibes. I feel good and I think it is a good sign.
So hubby started cooking and we clean the whole house. It is always our tradition to keep the house clean and change all our bedsheets, curtains and blankets. We also give away our old clothes that we seldom use. Days before New Year I was so depressed but with God’s grace I made it.
We had our simple celebration and we are happy that we are all together.
I am excited for 2014 because for our new baby. I can’t wait to hold him and experience motherhood again.
I am also excited to expand our business and to focus more on Forex.
For this year, I will focus on good things only. I will not let negative vibes get into my life.
I can make it with God’s guidance.
I wish everyone Good Health and Long Life!
Happy New Year!
2013 – Challenging Year
Few hours from now we will be leaving 2013 behind. 2013 is the most challenging year for me. It’s the time where my faith was tested. It was also the year when I thought that I can’t make it anymore because of so much pain. There are days that I don’t want to wake up anymore because the pain was so intense that controls my life. With the help of my families and friends, I am happy that I made it little by little. With all my friends and families prayers, I started living my life again. Today, there are darker days but I don’t let it control me anymore. I learn to let go and let God. Then I realized that His plan is better than mine. I trusted Him more and believe that everything will be okay. Then miracle happens…. I found out that I am pregnant again. It is the best gift I ever receive this year. I realized that my life is still worth living. 2013 is still an amazing year for our whole family. The lost I experienced when my daughter died brings so much realization in my part. It made me a new person that I never thought I will become. It made me see things in a different point of view. It made my soul mature enough to understand what life is all about. There are things that are still hard to understand, so many questions still left unanswered but I am not dwelling on that part anymore. I welcome 2014 with an open arms and I believe that this is going to be the best year. I am looking forward for more growth in personal and business life.
 Happy New Year Everyone!
Let Go
Here are 20 things to let go of in order to reach unlimited happiness.
1. Let go of all thoughts that don’t make you feel empowered and strong.
2. Let go of feeling guilty for doing what you truly want to do.
3. Let go of the fear of the unknown; take one small step and watch the path reveal itself.
4. Let go of regrets; at one point in your life, that âwhateverâ was exactly what you wanted.
5. Let go of worrying; worrying is like praying for what you donât want.
6. Let go of blaming anyone for anything; be accountable for your own life. If you donât like something, you have two choices, accept it or change it.
7. Let go of thinking you are damaged; you matter, and the world needs you just as you are.
8. Let go of thinking your dreams are not important; always follow your heart.
9. Let go of being the âgo-to personâ for everyone, all the time; stop blowing yourself off and take care of yourself first ⌠because you matter.
10. Let go of thinking everyone else is happier, more successful or better off than you. You are right where you need to be. Your journey is unfolding perfectly for you.
11. Let go of thinking there’s a right and wrong way to do things or to see the world. Enjoy the contrast and celebrate the diversity and richness of life.
12. Let go of cheating on your future with your past. Itâs time to move on and tell a new story.
13. Let go of thinking you are not where you should be. You are right where you need to be to get to where you want to go, so start asking yourself where you want to go.
14. Let go of anger toward ex lovers and family. We all deserve happiness and love; just because it is over doesnât mean the love was wrong.
15. Let go of the need to do more and be more; for today, you’ve done the best you can, and that’s enough.
16. Let go of thinking you have to know how to make it happen; we learn the way on the way.
17. Let go of your money woes â make a plan to pay off debt and focus on your abundance.
18. Let go of trying to save or change people. Everyone has her own path, and the best thing you can do is work on yourself and stop focusing on others.
19. Let go of trying to fit in and be accepted by everyone. Your uniqueness is what makes you outstanding.
20. Let go of self-hate. You are not the shape of your body or the number on the scale. Who you are matters, and the world needs you as you are. Celebrate you!
Heavy Baby Bump
I am on my 28th week now and the baby bump is getting bigger and heavier. I decided yesterday to start buying for Baby’s items since I already have a hard time walking around the mall.
We bought few pieces only and hubby is so excited. I let him picked what he wanted for our new baby. He has fun and I just love watching him doing the shopping.
New Year Inspiration
Okay, since I am so down lately, I need something to boost my mood. I need to think of something that can help myself. I don’t want to dwell on the pain anymore. I want to rise from this pain. I don’t want this pain to control my life.
So here are some New Year Inspiration that helps me a lot and it might help you too:
Just by reading those New Year Inspiration, it made me feel better. The truth is I am so tired of feeling sad because I am not really that type. So I hope that I will face 2014 with Hope and Love.
Nightmare
I don’t know how to express what I feel but my body is trembling everytime I remember that moment when my daughter passed away. Few days from now will be her First Year Anniversary in Heaven. Everything seems replaying. Sometimes, I can’t focus because I remember how exactly it happened.
I feel so helpless… I really don’t know how to express my feelings. I wanted to scream but I can’t do it. There is no reason for me to do it. I pray so hard that Ayumi will help me get through this. I am so afraid…
I know it is not the best time to feel this way because we should be celebrating New Year soon but I really can’t help it…
I remember last year when we celebrated New Year at the hospital. Just when I thought that she is doing well, Â the worst happened. All I remember was, her heart beat was so fast and the doctors and nurses were keep on checking on her. They are trying to keep her vital signs back to normal but it seems that all the medications are not working. Until her heart rate dropped. They try to bring her back for 30 minutes. I don’t want them to stop. I even asked the Head Doctor to continue what they are doing. I am willing to wait. But… when I saw her body that was so weak already and not responding anymore… I shout… I let them stop!
That was when I heard my husband shouted his heart out. It was the moment that I really can’t believe that I lost my precious child. That is the moment that I know my life will be change forever. That is the moment that I realized that I cannot hear her voice again. That is the moment that I know that I can’t have her kisses and hugs again.
That was the loneliest moment of my life. In that particular moment, part of me died too. Part of me has gone too with her. Part of me will never be whole ever again.
That was the moment I held her for the last time. After that very moment, I don’t want to go near to her dead body because I know she is not there anymore. I know that it is just a body and I don’t feel her there anymore. I can’t cry that moment. I don’t know how to express my feelings. It seems that everything is unreal. It seems that I have a nightmare!
I just wish that God never allow this things to happen. I wish He let her stay with us. I wish to have it differently but it seems that God is already sure of what He wanted to do with my life. At first, I questioned God and got mad at Him. It is really a test of faith. As the days and months passes by, slowly I learned to accept it. You will definitely see how I accepted the whole thing if you are a reader of my blog. It was hard but there is nothing else to do.
I renew my faith and believe that whatever happened was really good for my soul. It might serve my purpose here on Earth. It’s hard to understand but I just trust everything to God.
There are bad moments but there are also good moments. Maybe, what I feel lately is one of those bad moments and I believe that this too shall pass.
Mama Mary and Jesus please help me get through this.
I hope that my little Ayumi is doing great in Heaven right now. I miss her so much…
Christmas 2013
2013 is the most challenging year for us when my daughter died last January 3. It was one of the most difficult part of my life. It really us in deep pain, that I thought will crash me forever. The pain that I thought will bring me down forever. But with God’s help and guidance we will able to turn pain into hope.
We celebrated our Christmas the way we used to celebrate it. It started with attending Mass, gift giving and Noche Buena.
The kids while waiting for their gifts.
The gifts are ready.
Happy kids đ
Gift giving time
Ready to eat..
We went to SM Aura and McKinley Hill.
It was a hot and humid day but full of fun with the family I love most.