Missing Lola

September 1, 2000

The day we lost her.

She’s the best thing happened to me. She took care of me. She worried a lot when I got sick. I can see it in her eyes that everytime I got sick she had this fear in her eyes. I never understood it before… but later on… I knew.

My lola lost a child twice. When she told me about it, I can sense the sadness from her voice and when I look in her eyes, she got teary eyed. Of course, I don’t have any idea how it was that time since I was very young when she told me about it.

She lost 2 babies, before she gave birth to my mother. The way she explained it to me, it was due to measles. I know those time measles was some kind of epidemic, just like Dengue today. My lola was never aware of it.

So when I was born, she was so protected of me. Everytime I got sick, she worried a lot. I spent most of my childhood days with her. I was closer to her than to my mother.

Back then, I never thought that one day I will lost her, she’s like a hero to me.

It seems that she knew how to fix everything.. akala ko andyan lang sya palagi.

I was her favorite apo.

She knew my favorite things. She knew when I was down. She knew when I was not in the mood. She knew about me.

Then one day, I got a call from Mindanao that she’s gone.

It was the saddest day of my life.

I miss her so much!

Yes, it’s been 17 years but I always miss her. I miss it when she got mad at me because I was not taking care of myself. I miss when she prepared my food. I miss it when she bring something for me everytime she went to the market.

I am so lucky to have her in my life and I will forever cherish it.

I hope when I live my life again, sya ulit ang lola ko.

I Had a Dream

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I woke up feeling good.

I don’t know but it feels everything is so good.

I know that I have a dream… a wonderful dream actually but the sad part is, I can’t remember it no matter how hard I try.

I woke up feeling good in everything around me.

I am thankful for this wonderful feeling, despite this past few days that I was so stressed out.

I hope I can remember my dream.

Massage Time

Augusst 29, 2017

Xavier still as slight fever, cough and colds. So I was so worried that time. I called my sister to give Xavier a massage. At first he don’t want to have massage but later on he gave in.

He seems liked it. 

While having his massage, the cold sweat started to come out. Yon pala may pilay sya.

It seems that he liked it so much. Hindi na sya sumisigaw at galit kapag hinahawakan.

Fast forward…

Just after his massage, nawala ang lagnat nya. Naging maayos na sya. Hindi na rin sobrang tigas ang ubo nya. I am glad that he’s finally okay. Grabe halos isang linggo din kaming puyat, at sobra talaga ang takot ko kapag may sakit sya.

So I have to remember this, na kapag may sakit sya, dapat ipahilot ko din sya after nyang magpacheck up sa Doctor.

 

 

Trust God

I accepted the fact that being a business woman, the struggle never ends. If you are managing a business there were some ups and downs and you should be ready for it. I set my mind already for that.

But no matter how positive I am, there were times that I also feel so hopeless. When those time comes, I just seat still remind myself that God is in control.

There were times that I work so hard and still it seems that I don’t get things the way I wanted it to be, so I just rest and remind myself that as long as I already did my best, I let God handle the rest. Most of the time, when I have that kind of thinking, good things will just follow. Eventually, things will get better.