Year: 2017

My Kind of Day

I woke up earlier than usual. We need to be at the office earlier to interview applicants. So while preparing, I had allergy attack, suddenly I don’t feel good. So I took my medicine and after 30 minutes I feel good but sleepy and I think it’s not a good idea.

We got our coffee first at Starbucks then headed to the office where a number of applicants were waiting for us. So we decided to check on their exam results and started the interview. The interview went well and I got a number of new agents. Then I had our client meeting online…

Then stayed in the office until midnight, since we need to be with our team. I was already sleepy at that time but still manage to stay late. Then I realized that I can’t control my eyes anymore. I am really so sleepy that coffee can’t help anymore. We headed home…

Then I just forgot everything…  went to bed and sleep.

I woke up around 5am, starving. I realized that the last time I ate was 6pm and I only had my snacks at 10pm. I was really starving that I can’t go back to sleep. Good thing, hubby is still awake and so we had our meal.

I am now okay… but still sleepy. I think I need to get back to bed again. Time check 8am.

It’s going to be a busy week ahead.. So we need to store energy to beat our crazy schedules.

Thoughts

Sometimes I wake up wondering what’s going on with my life…

I sometimes stop and wonder how I made it..

There are days that I wonder how I survived those hardships that I encounter from the past.

When I saw Ayumi pictures, I can’t help but wonder how I survived her death. There are times that I wonder if those really happened to me, that if I deserved to get hurt that way.

Sometimes, I just have to look at her pictures and I can’t even grasp if she was with me. Parang ang bilis kasi ng panahon, parang kelan lang nasa akin sya tapos wala na. There are some instances in my life that I already forgotten. That I need to recall it first or someone need to remind me about it. Maybe I’ve been through a lot of trauma for what had happened so I suppress those feelings or maybe I don’t want to remember those things. May mga bagay na hindi ko na matandaan. Hindi ko alam pero ganon ang naging defense ko during those times. Sometimes everything seems so unreal… sometimes it feels like a bad dream.

Feelings are hard to understand. Sometimes I don’t really mind it at all… I just let it flow and I just go with it. For the longest time, since I lost my daughter, I never plan anything. I just live my life day by day. But eventually, I need to get back to my feet. I need to pick up the pieces and live my life again as normal as possible. Though sometimes, it really hits me back and all I can do is deal with it. Grieving is really a long process. There are days that I am okay, then all of sudden, I am back to my depress self. But I know that I need to get up… it is always that way. There are bad days…  but I have this hope that after the bad days, there are better days. So I am just looking forward for what is good.

Some people don't realize how the loss of a child changes you they expect u to be the same though u will never be:

 

Busy Day Ahead

It’s a busy day. We need to stay at the office until 5am then had our quick breakfast at Minced Manila. Then we went on to my errands.

We went to the bank, to car dealer and to the school to inquire for Xavier’s nursery program this coming June.

We went home around 11am and I was so tired already but still, I spend quality time with the kids then went to sleep.

It was quite a hectic day but it was fun since I got a chance to finish everything needed. Actually I am getting used to this kind of set up but of course I need to spend time resting as well.

There are so many things that need to be done right now but I am taking things slowly… oh.. for now. But I know eventually I will not be taking it slow…

My Day

Today is quite a busy day. We had appointment with the bank then headed to the mall to get something for my inaanaks.  Some of my inaanak are not living nearby so I need to deliver through courier my gifts to them.

So after hours of walking inside the Mall, I got so tired and feel so hungry.

The finally tried the Churros. 🙂

 

Then my favorite of all time the Bibingka. 

This is my guilt pleasure as of the moment.

 

2017

It’s been six days already!

Happy New Year everyone!

I think I need to post something in welcoming a New Year since it is my yearly tradition. It just so happen that I was not yet ready on what to post!

There are so many things going on lately and I really don’t know on where to start. As you all know, I don’t really like into planning on something but I think I have to start doing it. I have planners to go with it and I think I have to stick with the plans since I am now the business owner of not just a small company but to a growing company. Yes, it is quite new for me to handle my BPO business but wow it’s so amazing and I am really excited for this company.

So we have clients coming this month and we are really excited to meet them. Oh God, for the longest time they will be coming! OMG… I still can’t believe! So there you go.. that made me so quite lately. That made me so nervous lately because this is a dream come true for us. I know that it will going to be AMAZING! (hold breath!)

Plans? well.. I don’t plan so much for long term before but I think I have to start to have these short term and long term plans and of course stick to it! But of course, I won’t be discussing some of our business plans here…  Not here! I will just write it down on my planner and sticky notes and print some it.

But… to sum of it all.. here are the plans… ahahahha

  1. I will be EXTREMELY working my ass!  – For the past years I am not really into it, I just worked but not 100% yet, so this time I will do it 100%. hahahah
  2. I will be EXTREMELY have a vacation! – I will try to explore more places with my sons and hubby. Having a vacation is my only way to relax and will definitely help me focus on my work. So it is really a necessity for me to have a vacation. It is my only fuel to go on with my goals. NECESSITY!
  3. I will continue to exercise and reach my weight goals and eventually control my sugar.  – ultimate goal to stay healthy but hey I am not really a health buff, I just need to balance everything.
  4. I will eat right. More fruits and Veggies. – I really love to eat and I love to visit new restos in the city and I think I should explore more.
  5. I will watch more movies. – This is my past time if I wanted to relax and don’t want to go in a vacation because I still have pending work to do. This is my way of unwinding if I can’t travel.
  6. Read more books! – I really can’t live without books. I am trying to control myself of going inside the bookstore because I still have so much books to finish. So until I am done with my unread 8 books, I have to get away with the bookstore. My goal is read at least 100 books this year!
  7. Focus on my painting! – I started to love paintings and later I realized that having this hobby is not easy. The materials are quite expensive. I spent so much from it and I am not even sure that my paintings were good, but I don’t care. ahhahaah I will continue to paint to make me feel good. It made me feel relax and more focus on my goals. It made me deal with my depression and anxiety attack. So I think it is so worth it.

There you go… Those are my goals for this year and I know that this year is the best! I can feel it and I am so excited for it.

Angel Anniversary 

January 3, 2017

It’s been 4 years already! Time flies so fast but still the pain is still the same. Though I learn how to live each day with the pain and I master of hiding the pain. I think everyone around me move on already but deep inside of me, I never move on. I just have no choice but to go on with my life and live normally just like everyone.

I still remember everything on that gloomy day! I still remember how I feel the emptiness. I still remember everything and I can’t even describe the feeling of loss. It is the worst feeling ever.

Sometimes I am surprised about myself. I wonder how I survived. I wonder how I go on with my life.

I know that God is the master of it all. I know that everything is His plan and I know that someday I will understand everything. During those moments, I know that God carried me. I never felt that kind of strength and I believe that it is all His works.

He is indeed in control of everything.

Whatever will happen in my life, I know that He is in control and it is His will. As His child, I have no other things to do but to follow Him.

I am so thankful that He is with me all this time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I miss you so much Pillow! I wish to hug you so tight!