November 1 and 2 is a time to remember the love ones who passed away. Actually, I always remember them. Never comes a day that I didn’t think of them. The first ever lost I remember that really hurt me was when I lost my Uncle, the youngest brother of my father. My Uncle was so close to me. He always came to our house every weekend to be with my father. They talked about everything and they had karaoke the whole afternoon. I remember the last time he visited us, he told me to look after my cousins. We are studying in the same school and they are younger than me. He told me to look after his daughter because I am the oldest that can take care of them. Just after a week, he died. I really can’t believe it. I was so hurt and I cried a lot.

I am so close to my Lola. I grow up with her. She took care of me since I am child. When I left my hometown to study at Cebu, I prayed so hard to keep my Lola healthy because I can’t imagine a life without her. God heard my prayer. 4 years after I graduated, I visited my Lola and spent the best time with her but sad to say just after a month, she passed away.  It was so painful. It feels like I lost a parent. When she was gone, I got this lost feeling. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to cope up. She is so special to me and without her my life is way so different.

When my father died, I thought I was prepared. He was sick for months and when that day came we really have a hard time coping. He was our rock. He was a strong person and losing him make us feel weak. As if we lost our foundation. It was so heartbreaking to see my siblings growing up without him.

 

On Nov. 1, we visited Ayumi’s Place. It’s her first Undas.

Losing my own daughter is really the most painful.  I know that I will always feel this emptiness, my life will never be complete as ever. Maybe someday, I will found out the reason why but it will never make me whole again. I will always be grieving for her lost.

Wherever they are, I believe that they are happy because finally they are with our Creator. I just want to let them know that they are always in my heart and whatever I learned from them, I will continue living with it. I will forever miss them. They are always in my heart.

This was taken last Saturday when we have our date. We watched movie and dine out. Just the 2 of us. I love going out with him alone so that we can talk about anything. I can share my thoughts and feelings without holding it back. He is really my rock. My best friend forever! My best hubby!

Taken when I went to Gareth’s school and we have dinner after. My boys are both wearing Green. 🙂 Nakauniform sila. 🙂

Banana split. Something that can take away my weekend blues. I only ate 1/4 of it. Bawal ang sobrang sweets.

Gareth’s favorite thing to do. If he has no class, he wanted to stay here. 🙂

 

I am trying to be positive the whole weekend but due to my hormones I end up crying. I don’t know but I am very emotional lately.  I am also worried because my little sister who I  consider as my eldest is sick. We admitted her at the hospital due to high fever and cough. I worried so much and to make it worse I am not even allowed to get into the hospital because I am also protecting my self from sickness. I can’t even visit her. I am just staying at home and all I can do is just to call her at the hospital. She’s in the hospital for 2 days already and so far she is doing good. I can’t wait for her to come home.

I am also trying to shooo my blues but everytime I go out I feel dizzy. I don’t know but I hate crowded places. I wanted to be at the supermarket or at the mall but I keep experiencing light headed. That is just a little discomfort and it is just nothing for me everytime I feel the baby’s movement.

There are times that I want to go to beach but traveling is not advisable, so all I can do is read books, watch TV and do my work here at home.

So here I am while doing my trading online, I am updating my blog and do some changes. 🙂

How’s your weekend?