Random Thoughts

Okay, so here I am. So many things keeps running on my mind lately.

First, so many things happened lately but all is good. Since, I came back from our Cebu Trip, I have to do some international bookings for my client and since it is their first time to try our service, they are a little bit worried so we met and assured them that my business is legit. Well, I understand, I’ve done so many times already and some really wanted to meet me first before they will send the payment and I truly understand them because they the tours are expensive. Everytime I meet clients, I am always excited. I wanted to let them know that I am real as well as my business. So it was quite hard but I enjoy doing my job.

I just love that I have so many things to do right now and so far I can’t focus on the painful side of my life.  I am occupied of the business meetings and closing deals with my clients. After all it’s a wonderful life indeed.

Sometimes, I just thought how some get through it. I wonder how they cope. I don’t know but sometimes, I wanted to know on how they make it on how they survived after losing a child. I talked to a friend who also lost a son and even after 10 years or more I can still see the pain in the eyes. I also got a chance to talk to the old couple who happened to know that I lost a child, they only asked it for a while and eventually changed the topic because they saw the pain in my eyes. Sometimes, it feels awkward to express your feelings because the people around you, don’t even know how to react or deal with your feelings.  But, I understand them. There a times also that I don’t want to talk about it anymore. But sometimes, I want to talk about her more so that I can release everything but I only wanted to talk about it with hubby and close friends.

 

 

5th Month

Dear Ayumi,

 

Today is the 5th month without your kisses, hugs and giggles. I would like to let you know that we miss you everyday. We talked so much about you everyday. We miss your kisses, hugs and stories. I wanted to hear them again and I always wanted to have you back. I know it won’t happen but I believe that someday we will be together again. I am always longing for a daughter like you. You will always be my joy. I know that you are happy and always watching us always and thank you for that.

 

 

We are trying so hard to live this life as normal as possible. We are trying to stay positive despite of losing you. One day, we might understand why but today, I will stop asking why anymore. I try to accept that there are things we can’t control and change. We may not be together but it doesn’t stop us of loving you. You are our wonderful daughter and you are the reason why we are doing great things because we wanted you to feel proud that despite our loss we can still go on loving you and be the best person.

 

 

There are hard days but we believe that one day we will find the rainbow again.

 

 

Back to Cebu

We are in Cebu right now since last Friday for our Highschool Alumni. I am happy that I got a chance to be with my friends again. Yesterday was full of fun. We went to our school to have our sportsfest opening. We had parade and it was so hot and Gareth was so mad because it’s his first time to try it. I am glad that he made it though he keeps on whining.

It was fun also to be with my friends. We talked about business. They are curious about my business and I am looking forward of opening a new business here in Cebu. Cebu is like a home for me. I have lots of friends here and I feel secure to be with them. I am looking forward of owning a place here in Cebu so that I can stay at least a week without staying in the hotel.

 

 

 

 

This is our school. I am forever grateful for all the guidance from our Nuns and the founder of the Sisters of Mary, Fr. Al.

 

After our day activity, we had our dinner at Lantaw and it was a great meal. The food is great and affordable.

We stayed at Crown Regency Fuente. Our favorite place here in Cebu. This is our second stay in this hotel and I always choose this one because its accessible to the nearby places I wanted to visit.

View from our room.

 

Another view from our room.

 

 

Our room.

 

They really love staying here. 🙂

 

It was a nice weekend getaway before the kids will go back to school. I am thankful for this wonderful vacation.

 

If you need hotel accommodation and airfare tickets please check our FB Page or our official website “Sasuman’s Travel and Tours.”

Today’s Real Feeling

 

I’ve been working hard for the whole week and sometimes I don’t know anymore if I am still doing the things I love. Anyway, I stop analyzing all the things that happened, I just live my life by the moment. I give my best in everything and I think that is enough.

 

Gareth at Enchanted Kingdom

The school of Gareth organized a trip to Enchanted Kingdom. As parents, we are excited to witness how he will be on public with special kids like him. Since, they are special kids, we need to adjust to their behavior on public. Gareth, don’t really understand why he is in EK. We don’t see the excitement on Gareth’s face while we are entering EK. Then we went to Carousel and so far he likes it. When we try the other rides I thought he will refused or frighten but he enjoyed it.

It was a very humid and hot day and I am proud of myself that I made it without going inside any aircondition rooms. I think I am enjoying the outdoor atmosphere and it feels so good that I don’t feel drowsy whenever I am out.

Ready to conquer EK.

I am glad that Gareth enjoys the trip. 🙂 I can’t wait for more adventures.

 

After our EK Tour we went to The Fort because we need to purchase something and we saw this fountain while kids are playing and getting wet. I really want to do it too but of course I can’t. I wish I am a kid again so that I can do things like this. 🙂

Health Update

It’s a busy day. We went to a Chinese Doctor at Binondo today for check up and so far my blood sugar is getting better. Its not as high as before. My hba1c on 2011 was 13% and the normal range is 4-5%. So when I heard about Dr. Tan, I never wasted time, and asked for the herbal medicine. I take all the herbs eventhough the taste was so bad. I am determine to lower my blood sugar so I have to take whatever it takes. Then after 6 months my hba1c result was 9%. I feel good because I am not taking any medication, just diet, exercise and the herbs from Dr. Tan. He also found out that I am acidic with joint problems and gall stone. Just last month, I decided to have my hba1c again and the result was 6.8%. I am so happy that I am almost on the normal range. I don’t take the medications because it just made me feel nauseated, bloated and exhausted. I am so thankful to God that I found the right doctor for my family.

 

Hubby also loves Dr. Tan herbs. He is taking it too for his fatty liver and gallstone. So far his health is improving. I also got a chance to meet other patients who has cancer and become hopeful that they will feel better. Some even improved a lot. So this afternoon, it was a long queue but it’s okay. There are patients from Visayas and Northern part of Luzon. I pray to God that they will feel better.

 

I am also positive that my blood sugar will be going better since I am doing my best to keep it on a normal range. I remember the first time I found out that I have diabetes, I was so depressed and shocked and I really don’t know where to start because I don’t have guidance from families because they don’t have it (thanks God). So I just do my own research and read a lot of successful stories and I also found out the right method for my body. It’s not easy. It’s a long process and until now I still have down moment on dealing my diabetes. There are days that its high but there is always a new day to start so I don’t dwell to much of high numbers anymore. I finally know how to manage it and realize that it’s a lifetime commitment to myself. So if ever I failed, I don’t get mad of myself instead I told myself that it’s okay, we can always restart.

 

Since I found out that I have diabetes, I changed my diet so from 180lbs. I am now 140lbs. The first I avoided was coffee. I was a coffee addict and since I started avoided it, I feel better. At first, it was hard. I have cravings but I was determined. The next food I avoided is rice. I can eat 3 cups of rice every meal before but now, 1 cup of rice is enough. It was hard and my body had some withdrawal syndrome but I never gave in. I am thankful that I have discipline to reach my goal.

 

I realized that we can always get medications but if we will not change the way we eat or change our lifestyle the medications are useless. So if you have diabetes like me, take charge of your health now.

 

Trying

For the past few days I was depressed. The blah moments attack again. It was really hard. I don’t want to meet people but I have to. I try my best to deal with people and so far I made it.

There are days that I just to hide somewhere and just have fun but it seems that I can’t do it anymore. I am afraid to feel the happiness again because I have a feeling that something bad might happen. oh well, that is how it attacked me.

But I try my best…

 

I go out to meet friends and to check my business. I have more fun if I am in the spa. My staffs are funny and they let me laugh again. I just love being with them. Then, hubby and I watched movie. We waited Fast and The Furious 6 for so long and happy that finally we watched it.

We also went to J.Co, my hubby’s fave donut and so I tried it too and hoping that my blood sugar will not go high. We had our walk after we had my donut because I feel guilty after eating one. 🙂

Then I got this message from FB and decided to write in a tissue paper.

It simply made me feel good.

Mom on Duty

Today, I decided to accompany Gareth to his school because he will have his swimming class. I wanted to support him and see if he can follow his teacher.

As expected, Gareth is so afraid inside the pool but he always wanted to touch the water outside the pool which is dangerous and that is the reason why I wanted him to have swimming class. At first, he don’t want to let go her teacher but eventually he get a hang of it.

 

After his class we went to BGC to let him stay at the playroom. He always wanted to do it so we see to it that he will stay at least 1 hour.

 

 

We had our coffee at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and Gareth loves the tiramisu. Oh I forgot to take pictures because we are already starving. LOL.

Gareth is very excited to go the playroom. 🙂