34th Birthday

I celebrated my 34th birthday at a place I found peace and happiness that is where my heart longs to stay at the Sisters of Mary, Boystown Cebu. When I was so down and don’t know what to do with my life, that is the only place where I found peace and got the words of wisdom I needed so much that time and now that I feel okay, I think there is no better place to celebrate it but with them too. 🙂

So we went to Cebu last July 13, one day before my birthday and we just stayed in the hotel for the rest of the day and it was a perfect getaway since we are already very stress in our 2 renovations.

Early on July 14, we went to Sisters of Mary Cebu to attend mass. I realized at that moment that it was the best decision I ever made to be a part of the Sisters of Mary family because I know I have a place to call Home.

The celebration is very simple but this is the perfect celebration I ever had. 🙂

 

With Fr. Rick, Sr. Riza and the boys. 🙂

 

 

 

My batchmate, Sr. Queenie.

 

 

My Wishes:

1. Peace of mind – no more anxiety attack and depression.

2. Good Health

3. Successful Business

4. More love from the people around me. 🙂

 

Thankful

We are still very busy and today I am here at the spa to check the construction. I am so glad that I can still blog using my phone. We are supposed to install the split aircon today but the contractor forgot to bring the necessary equipment. So they have to do it tomorrow. By next week the spa will be ready and we will be having our grand opening. I can’t wait to see the perfections. Hehhe

 

About the House construction, the workers are working double time because we want to move within a month. All the materials are almost complete. The house construction is more stressful than the spa because we need to take care of every smallest details and so far everything is okay.

 

About me, i feel so blessed and thankful for all the blessings. I really can’t believe that all of these are happening all at the same time. Maybe, there are days that I am so down and if that happened I just look around me and realize that I have so many things to be thankful for.

 

Update! Update!

It’s a busy month and that is the reason why I can’t post here regularly. First of all, its my birthday month but I don’t have birthday party plan. I think, this year is not a right time to party and I don’t feel like doing it. Last year, I celebrated it with a simple dinner with my family. It was a great dinner because Ayumi was still with us and she kept on singing birthday song and keeps on hugging me. oh.. I miss her so much again!

Last night, I feel that I miss her so much. I cried until I feel sleepy. Sometimes, it made me feel good after I cried out. I miss her around and it seems that I can’t feel her presence recently and I think maybe she already moved on or she is giving us space to move on. I don’t know but that is what I am feeling.

Anyway, during the day, we are very busy buying construction materials for the spa and house. Yes, we are now ready to move to our new place and I am excited for this brandnew start. We also expand our spa to serve our clients better. Our clients are requesting to make the space bigger. The business is doing well and I am very thankful for all the blessings. I have fun shopping the house items and I told to myself that after the constructions, I should stop shopping because everyday I am doing it and I am so tired already.  There are days that I need to check the site and so far the constructions are doing well and we are looking forward to move within this month.

Me and hubby also went to grief counselor and we found out that we really need this to help us heal. There are many things that we need to do and I think we should focus on it not on the pain.

House Construction

 

 

Spa expansion

 

 

Ortigas Depot – where I bought most of our kitchen and Bathroom supplies.

 

It is where we bought lighting. They have nice pieces and I am really happy of what I got.

 

 

Something To Think About

 

Today is Ayumi’s 6th month in Heaven. I don’t know how  I made it but through the people who loves and prayed for us we were able to live each day one at a time.

I miss her everyday and I wishes that she is still with us. There are days that is so hard but of course there are still better days. I am so thankful that despite what happened we are still hopeful for a brighter days. There are so many things had change and I know that I can never be the same ever again. This is my new normal and I know that I should be dealing this forever.

The future are still blurry and I don’t want to think so much about it anymore. I just live my best everyday. I just do things that I know is right for that particular moment.

I know that I am forever carrying this pain but of course I can still live and smile while I am in this pain. Love is long suffering indeed and I will offer my pain to God, to Mama Mary and to St. Pio, I know they will help me get through this.

I know that everytime I know someone who are sick, specially if Gareth is sick I really can’t focus and my panic attack is in a maximum level. Just like last night, when he started vomiting and has high fever. We went to hospital and I really don’t know what to do anymore.  I am glad that we went home and Gareth is feeling good today. His fever is not as high as yesterday and that is due to tonsilitis.

Thanks everyone for the prayers.

 

I know that Ayumi is helping us get through the pain.

 

Pray

Since last night, Gareth has fever and this is really one of those days that I really can’t sleep or think. The pain and the trauma are here again. Trying to occupy my body and mind. I didn’t go to work today because I wanted to take care of Gareth. I am still monitoring his temperature. If ever you are reading this blog please say a prayer for him. I hope he will feel better soon and of course pray for me that I may overcome the trauma.

 

Thanks!

Thankful

I got all this thank you cards from the Sisters of Mary Boystown Cebu.

 

 

We also visited Fr. Al’s Museum.

 

 

 

I am really so lucky that I got a chance to know Fr. Al and one of his children. I am forever thankful for all the things that he shared with me.

I am praying so hard that Fr. Al will become a saint soon.

 

 

Happy

I am glad that finally I feel that happiness again.

Today, we visited the Sisters of Mary Cavite for the inauguration of Father Al’s Museum. It was raining hard but it never stops us of visiting my favorite place. I realized that I entered Sisters of Mary 21 years ago. I really can’t believe it that it was already that long, it seems that I left that place just yesterday. I still remember everything about my high school life. Lahat ng kakulitan tandang tanda ko pa.

I meet our Mother Superior again and it feels so good. I am always happy everytime I got a chance to see her. She is really like a mother to me and I believe that maybe on my past lifetime she is really my mother because when I lost Ayumi, she is the first person I wanted to talk. She really helped me deal with all my pain. Hubby and I are very grateful for everything.

I also got a chance to meet the priest who are also a graduate from Sisters of Mary. I am so happy that we finally got a chance to talk and share stories about our high school experience.

I just feel at peace right now and there are no words that can describe what I feel but HAPPINESS!

While, I am posting this one, there is a typhoon and we are on Signal No. 2. I pray for the safety of everyone.

I will try to post more pictures in some other time because our internet is very slow at the moment and retrieving pictures is really very hard.

 

Goodnight!

 

Surrender

After what happened to my daughter, I realized that there are so many things that we cant’ control and all we can do is to surrender it to God.

Fears and anxiety are common things after I lose her. Sometimes, it’s hard for me to fight it. There are days that I really can’t focus because of it. Everytime it attacks, I just pray to God and let Him know that I am just his servant and I am just here to follow and I believe in Him that he will stay and continue loving me.

I know that He is my only source of strength.

Then, to my surprise I got this quotes. So perfect and maybe that is a message from God.

June 25

It’s been a while since I share my deepest feeling here. The truth is I am very busy with so many things. I also don’t want to share too much depressing moments here because the I don’t really want to affect other people with whatever feelings I have right now.

Anyway, last week was a crazy week. I decided to ended the contract with one of my business partner. That’s the reality of business. Sometimes, you need to end the partnership while you still have respect to each other. I value our friendship but I really can’t stand on how he managed our business. I’d rather manage it on my own than wait for his action plan. In business, I am way different. I think differently and I am always looking for results. Business is a very important matter for me and I really take it seriously and if one of my staffs or partners are not doing well, I don’t give a second thought. After I sent the termination of contract letter, we need to revise our marketing plan and start working on it. It was a relieved that I can do things on my own. Actually, it was a great success because after we parted I had spa party bookings and I am thankful to God for the amazing blessings.

As you can see, I changed the name of the spa to “Angel Ayumi’s Wellness Spa“, that is the original name of the spa when I registered at DTI last February but since it was a franchise, I need to use the previous name.  Maybe this is also what my daughter Ayumi really wanted. We are now using her name to our spa and it feels so good. I know that she is doing her best to help us.

Aside from that, we are also moving to our new house. I think it’s about time to transfer. I need a new place to start. Of course I will miss our current place because this is where I gave birth to Ayumi and we have lots of wonderful memories in this place.

I am not really leaving this place because we are planning of building apartment here. I am now thinking of doing the real estate business seriously. I am looking forward for a great success of our new venture.

 

 

 

It’s the Climb

I love this song. It made me feel good everytime I hear this song.

If I am so down, I just listen to this song then I feel good and ready to face the world again.

 

MILEY CYRUS - THE CLIMB
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa